TOW Johnny Makes Friends (London)
--> Lisa Kudrow:
LISA: (Answering phone) Hello?
JOHNNY: Hello, is that Lisa?
LISA: Yeah.
JOHNNY: Hi, this is Johnny Vaughn from channel 4. I'm on the Friends
set in London. Well, actually I'm at a phone box outside cause I couldn't
make international calls from my dressing room.
LISA: Ooo, your accent.
JOHNNY: Lisa, where are you?
LISA: On the set of the coffee house, on the couch.
JOHNNY: (covers mouthpiece of phone) That wasn't what I meant, it's
gonna be a long day. (Into phone) Oh, I meant why aren't you here in
London?
LISA: Oh, well I can't be there cause I'm pregnant.
JOHNNY: So are they only filming you from the waist up or have they
cunningly written it into Phoebe's storyline?
LISA: Phoebe's pregnant, she got inseminated. Her brother and his much
older wife couldn't have kids so she got inseminated with some of their
embryos.
JOHNNY: Ah, clever, art imitating life- Lisa's pregnant, Phoebe's pregnant.
LISA: I can't distinguish between me and Phoebe!
JOHNNY: Well if that's the case I'll make sure I'm never in a room with
you and a pair of scissors! Listen, I often get a bit overexcited, a
bit stressed. Have you got any tips? Do you think I should maybe try
and learn from Phoebe, her ability to let things go over her head. Act
a bit, y'know, dizzy?
LISA: It's a lot easier, y'know, to live life that way. No one expects
anything from you.
JOHNNY: So just let little irritations kinda wash over me.
LISA: Yeah, just play dumb.
JOHNNY: Great tip, less stress, everyone thinks you're stupid. Listen,
I've got a bit of a ponder, it must be the closeness of the dressing
room. I gather your dad's a bit of a headache expert. What do you think
he would suggest, cause I've got a thumper?
LISA: Um, if you could find a way to knock yourself out till it goes
away, y'know. Bang your head against a wall. No, that's not what he
would say.
JOHNNY: What would he say?
LISA: He'd probably say take an Aspirin.
JOHNNY: Oh, thanks for the tip. Talking of which, the cast. I've only
got a day to bond. Do you have any tips for how I could manage that?
LISA: Well, y'know what? The best thing to do with any of the cast is
to leave them alone.
JOHNNY: (Covers mouthpiece) Not gonna be that hard. (Into phone) Okay,
um, what about presents? I've bought everyone a little something. You
haven't been left out. I've bought you a packet of the best guitar strings
money can buy. I'm pretty chuffed with my choice and I think you'll
be too.
LISA: Well yeah, I'm sure Phoebe would really go bananas for it. I don't
actually play guitar. I don't have a lot of interest in it, (laughs)
sorry.
JOHNNY: (laughs) Is there anything else I can send you? Hairclips? Nappies?
Mushy baby food?
LISA: Y'know what you could send? I shouldn't say this. Well why not,
yeah, I can't use it for a while, but like really good Scotch.
JOHNNY: Ah, okay. Have you thought about babies names? What about Johnny?
LISA: No. Oh, that's your name isn't it?
JOHNNY: What's wrong with Johnny?
LISA: Nothing. It's common. Nothing.
JOHNNY: (Mouths common).
LISA: I think Phoebe suggested Coogar.
JOHNNY: (Covering mouthpiece) She thinks Johnny's no good. (Into phone)
So, Lisa, is it weird not being here?
LISA: It's very weird. They're all doing something that I'm not and
that doesn't happen ever.
JOHNNY: Well I need all the help I can get quite frankly. Could you
call them and tell them that I'm okay, I'm quite a good person?
LISA: (Signals to someone on the set to call her).
VOICE: Lisa, we need you.
LISA: Oh, you need me?
JOHNNY: Wait, just one more question.
LISA: (to someone on set) Oh my God, alright.
JOHNNY: Just one more question. It's not even a whole question, more
of a ...
LISA: I'm being called away.
JOHNNY: But we're getting on really well.
LISA: No, you're scaring me. Okay, I gotta go.
JOHNNY: I'm scaring you?
LISA: Bye bye. (Puts down phone). Oh my God.
Adresser
