Friends - Venner For Livet

Rachel: "How am I supposed to walk down that aisle looking like something you drink when you're nauseous?"
Rachel: "...Everyone I know is either getting married or getting pregnant or getting promoted. And I'm getting coffee."

Rachel: "What if I don't want to be a shoe? What if I want to be...a purse, ya know, or, or, a...a hat."

Rachel: "OK, I know this is going to sound really stupid...but I feel that if I can actually do my own laundry, there isn't anything I can't do."

Rachel: "Hey. Whe-ell. Look at you! Finally got that time machine workin' huh?"

Rachel: "Hey, Chandler...Monica just broke my seashell lamp!"
Chandler: "Neat! I'm gonna die alone."
Rachel: "...OK...you win."

Ross: "And you had no idea they weren't getting along?"
Rachel: "None."
Joey: "They didn't fight a lot?"
Rachel: "No! They didn't even talk to each other! My god, how was I supposed to know they were having problems?"

Rachel: "On the positive side, I get two birthday parties and two birthday cakes." Rachel to Ross: "We've been dating for just six weeks and you planned out my life for the next twenty years??"

Rachel to Ross: "If you really care about me at all, will you get the pie in the man's hood?"

Phoebe: "Is Ross the boss of you?"
Rachel: "No, he's not."
Phoebe: "Then who is the boss of you!!?"
Rachel: "...YOU?"

Rachel to Ross: "We're crossing the line. Sort of a big thing."

Richard: "Hear that? She likes me best, and apparently there've been a lot."
Monica: "Not a lot. Phoebe's kidding. Phoebe's crazy."
Rachel: "Phoebe's dead!"

Chandler: "Yeah, he let us drive his Jaguar. Joey for 12 blocks, me for 15."
Rachel: "Wow, he must like you the best."

Rachel: "Hi, excuse me. I need to borrow your phone for just one minute."
Guy With Cellular Phone: "I'm talking!"
Rachel: "I can see that. I... it's just one call. I'll be very quick. I'll even pay for it... (silence) OK, you're being a little weird about your phone!"

Rachel: "Oh my God! What am I doing? This is so un-me."

Rachel: "OK, OK, OK. Moving on, moving on, next question. OK, number 29. Have you ever betrayed another goddess for a lightening bearer? OK, number 30."
Monica: "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's go back to 29."
Rachel: "Not, uh, not to my recollection."
Monica: "Hu-uh. Alright. Danny Arshak, ninth grade. Oh, c'mon Rach, you know the bottle was totally pointing at me."
Rachel: "Only 'cause you took up half the circle!"

Phoebe: "And now we need the semen of a righteous man."
Rachel: "Okay, Phoebes. You know, if we had that, we wouldn't be doing the ritual in the first place."

Ross: "OK. Then you're gonna have to understand that you're with a guy who's not gonna stop planning his future with you because he knows that we're gonna end up together and if that scares you, tough, 'cause you're gonna have to deal with that."
Rachel: "Fine, I will."
Ross: "Good, 'cause I love you."
Rachel: "Oh yeah."
Ross: "Yeah."
Rachel: "Well I love you too."
Ross: "Well that's the first time we've said that."
Rachel: "Yes it is."
Ross: "Well, I'm gonna kiss you."
Rachel: "Well you better."

Monica: "Rach, does this have non-fat milk?"
Rachel: "Um, I don't know. Why don't you taste it?"
Monica: "Umm, no."
Rachel: "Oh. Well, too late you already had some."

Rachel: "Oh, god, I'm sorry! It's just that when you moved your hands down to my butt, it was like, "Whoa! Ross's hands are on my butt!"

Rachel: "Oh, Joey. When I saw him get off that plane with her, I really thought I'd just hit rock bottom. But today, it's like there's rock bottom, fifty feet of crap, then me."

Rachel: "Oh, I'm going to look like a big Marshmallow Peep!"

Phoebe: "In the cab, on the way over, Steve blazed up a doobie."
Rachel: "What?"
Phoebe: "Smoked a joint. You know, lit a bone... weed, hemp, ganja..."
Rachel: "Okay, okay! I'm with ya, Cheech."

Rachel to Ross: "Oh please! That Paolo thing was barely a relationship. All it really was was just, ya know, meaningliess animal sex. OK. Ya know, that sounded sooooo much better in my head."

Rachel: "Terry is a jerk, ok? That's why we're always saying, "Terry is a jerk!" That's where that came from!"

Chandler: "So Rach, did you dream about me last night?"
Rachel: "Well, you weren't the only one there. Joey was there too."
Joey: "Whoa! So was it like you and Chandler and then you and me, and then you and me and Chandler."
Rachel: "Yeah. And sometimes it wasn't even me."

Rachel: "OK, let me take these cakes back 'cause they're gonna take that out of my paycheck."

Rachel mocking Ross: "Ooh, I'm a man! Ooh, I have a penis! Ooh, I have to win money to exert my power over women!"

Mr. Treeger: "So, uh, is this mistletoe?"
Rachel: "No, act... No, uh, that is... basil!"
Mr. Treeger: "Ah, if it was mistletoe I was gonna kiss you."
Rachel: "Yeah... No, it's still basil."

Monica: "Well, Wendy's more of a... professional waitress."
Rachel: "Oh, I see... and I'm sort of maintaining my amateur status so that I can waitress in the Olympics."

Rachel: "Isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck FANTASTIC?!"

Rachel: "Hey, Chandler. Monica just broke my seashell lamp!"
Chandler: "Neat... I'M GONNA DIE ALONE!"
Rachel: "... Ok, you win."

Ross: "Sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing, you know, giving him away."
Rachel: "Oh, Ross, you had to. I mean, he was humping everything in sight! I mean, I have a Malibu Barbie that will no longer be wearing white to her wedding."

Rachel: "OK, I, I will do your laundry for one month."
Monica: "No."
Rachel: "OK, OK, OK, I will, I will, I, hey, I will clean the apartment for two months."
Monica: "Alright, I tell you what, I'll give this to you now if you can tell me where we keep the dustpan."
Rachel: "Agghhh!!!"

Rachel's Mom: "Oh, look at this."
Rachel: "Ahh, these are our Halloween pictures from three years ago!"
Rachel's Mom: "Oh, and look. Here's Barry. Did he have to come straight from the office?"
Rachel: "Oh, no, that was his costume. See, he's actually an orthodontist, but he came as a regular dentist."

Rachel: "Did I get a job? Are you kidding? I'm trained at nothing!"

Monica: "Is there any chance that you could look at this as flattering? I mean, [your mom]'s doing it because she wants to be more like you.
Rachel: "Well, then, you know... couldn't she have just copied my haircut?"

Phoebe: "Ooh, you know my friend Abby who shaves her head? She says you can do this cleansing ritual."
Rachel: "Phoebes, this woman is voluntarily bald."

Rachel's Mom: Oh, my god! There's an unattractive, nude man playing the cello!
Rachel: Yeah, well, just be glad he's not playing a smaller instrument!

Monica to Joey: "Oh, wait! (reads) "P.S. Enclosed, please find 14 of my eyelashes.""
Rachel: "You know, in Crazy World, that means you're married!"

Rachel: "And then I was blowing my attack whistle thingy."

Phoebe: "OK, hey. HEY! Is your boyfriend the boss of you?"
Rachel: "No."
Phoebe: "OK, who is the boss of you?!"
Rachel: "You?"

Rachel to "Monica" and "Monona" : "Well, you ladies aren't the only ones living the dream. I get to go pour coffee for people I don't know...don't wait up."

Rachel to Ross: "Oh, God. I'm sorry. It's just that when you moved your hands down to my butt, it was like 'Whoa! Ross' hands are on my butt!'"

Rachel: to Mindy in regard to Barry "Are you kidding? That guy is satan in a smock!"

Monica: "Let's compare, shall we?"
Rachel: "Ooohh - it's so late for 'shall we'."

Phoebe: "It's not mine, I didn't earn it; if I kept it, it woul d be like stealing."
Rachel: "Yeah, but if you spent it, it would be like shopping !"

Rachel to Marcel: "Bad, bad monkey!
Ross: "What? What happened?"
Rachel: "Oh, let's just say my Curious George isn't curious anymore!"

Rachel: "Fasten your seat belts, it's pee pee time."

Phoebe explaining why she didn't get a tattoo: "I know, I know, and I was gonna get it, but then he came in with this needle and uh, di-, did you know they do this with needles?"
Rachel: "Really? You don't say! Because mine was licked on by kittens!"

Rachel handing Marcel her Curious George: "Here Marcel, it's just, you know, something for you to do on the plane."

Rachel: "Oh God, and now I'm going to have to return t he ring, without the ring, which makes it soooo much harder..."

Rachel: "Chandler Bing, it's time to see your thing."

Rachel: Just one cheek.
Ross: Nuhuh, the moment's gone.
Rachel: Alright, just put your hands out and I'll back up into them.
Ross: Oh, that's romantic...
Rachel: Come on, touch it!
Ross: No.
Rachel: Oh, come on! Squeeze it!
Ross: No!
Rachel: Rub it!
Ross: NO!
Rachel: Oh, come on! Would you just grab my ass?!

Monica: "This woman's living my life, I should get to see what she looks like."
Rachel: "Go to the post office - I'm sure her picture's up."

Monica pretending to be Rachel: "I'm that stupid"
Rachel pretending to be Monica: "I'm not too bright either"

Rachel after Phoebe shows Rachel her "tattoo": "Oh, what a load of crap! That's a dot! Your mother is up in heaven going, 'Where the hell is my lilly you wuss?'"

Monica: "Um, you guys? Remember when I said before, "Thank you, but I really don't need your help?""
Rachel: "Actually, what I think you said was, "Don't touch that, and get the hell out of my kitchen."

Rachel: "Joey has a secret peep hole, he takes naked pictures of us, eats his bucket of chicken and looks at them!"

Rachel: "If she wanted to be more like me, why couldn't she just copy my hairstyle or something?"